i have survived the boondocks of my old hometown of pittsburgh, pa. walking around the mall, running errands, as usual, i felt like an outsider. even before i got my tats and piercings i always felt like a freak, and definitely felt ugly growing up, cuz i was so different with my ethnic backgrounds in an all white neighborhood and i didn't fit into one category totally and people didn't know what to make of me so there was a lot of assumptions and racist comments. mom said i came home crying from school almost every day. don't remember that. and my way of thinking and eventually learning to speak my mind made me stick out even more. had white friends and filipino friends. this past weekend, i was with the filipino folx, reconnected with them all as they had dispersed all over the country, felt instantly comfortable. so even though there was a main power break in the hotel and there was no a/c in the ballroom, we all danced our asses off and had a swell time.

the septum reactions:

brother - "your other nosering (my nostril ring) looked better than having your hoop in the middle. but it works with your face."

mother - (after cornering me in my room) "oh, you have new jewelryyy! (big frown) don't you have something more formal for tomorrow's wedding? that's not very formal." i told her i can't mess with it cuz it's still in the healing stage. she sighed an "ok" and left.

dad - (while i'm eating dinner he comes up to me, stops, raises his chin to look at me from under his bifocals, and says in his booming deliberate voice) "ohh.. you.. have...a ring.. in.. your...nose" i laughed and said yes, and he continued reading his paper

no one at the wedding reception said anything, but even the elders would still say, "you're so pretty!" so either their eyesight is going or they can look past what they're not used to. my concepts of beauty are so different from theirs. wanted to get a 40's wave, but there wasn't enough time, and the salon didn't really know how to do it, they just straightened my hair and curled the ends. with my strawberry 40's black sundress and lucite heels (my shit kicker black matte heels were hot but were so high it was hard to walk), and red accents, i had fun with my look.